| You know...relationships are more stressful than just about anything else, ever, in the history of life. *nods*
Say you have so much trust in someone...for so long...even going through troubles at home because they don't like that person...but you do, and you're ready and willing to fight for what you think might last. You dont think that person would do ANYTHNG to hurt you...you're both just too sprung to let anything come between you...ever. Or so you thought.
Then on one early saturday morning... aroud 1:30-ish to be exact...the world as you know it comes crashing down.
You get online because you have nothing else to do...tv is all on Reruns and if you have to watch that AquaTeenHungerForce one more time you'll scream in tounges. You check xanga...nothing. Msn....plah junk mail. Then a certain someone im's you because you keep forgetting to turn off that auto run check box on your AIM. Not really wanting to talk, but always in the mood to talk to them you start the convo like you usually do. but...something's wrong....just a feeling at the sight of all the un-grammatical "..." between every word they say throws you off. You voice this with a "What's Wrong". And never did I think that these 6 words that used to cause so much joy....would be the beginning of the end. "You know I love you right?"...Oh crap. You finally get out of them that they had been going out with another person while they had been going out with you. Great. But then they say"...but it was only over the internet...the person lives in another state! I didn't really think of it as going out...just someone to talk to. With you it's Different! I love you!"...Well. there are actually two things wrong with this statement.
1 Yeah the person lives in another state...way up north..you'll probably never talk to this person ever again in your life!......But It's still a person. People have feelings. And Tainting those feelings with false promises and sweet nothings that taste bitter....reap consiquences. It won't just..."go away". That person with hate you for the rest of their life. And I don't blame them one bit.
2. If I couldn't trust you in staying faithful. and You toy with someone's feelings from somewhere else....what makes you believe I think you're telling the truth with..."With you it's Different!"...ha. now pull the other leg.
On the other hand...3 million thoughts and memories are going through your head....all that just can't be a lie....it just cant....Maybe they really have learned...
You check your myspace..*well at least I did* partly to see if you got anything (messages, comments, etc.) and somewhat to see if anyone is still on that you could talk to...someone that you trust and that will help you in this situation. You find you have 1 New Message. And it just happens to be from *shock* the other lover.
You check to see what it was and she's talking to you about how...He went out with her and was feeding her lines from the hit singles..."I really love you" and "we're gonna be together forever"..
Funny.....those are the same things he says to you....what a coinsidence! Turns out it's not always Rainbows and Butterflies..like it seems. They then proceed to worn you that...your lover...has another side. One you don't see. Be careful.
As much as you don't want to believe the person...you know...deep down...there's got to be a little truth to what they're saying. I know They aren't making this up for fun.
They even provide a myspace account that illedgedly belongs to him.
Even though you've begged and bribed that person to get a myspace or tell you one that they have...they always say "I don't have one! lol...don't want one...those things are stupid"
Hm. not according to this well furnished morsel.
You look...and she's just alll over it..I mean you could pracitally call it a shrine or a fansite to the one lied to.
This just breaks it for you. You want nothing to do with your soon to be ex...and you want it to all just go away for now. I mean right now it is like..4:30 in the morning...all your brain cells went home...Jimmy's left but he never really does anything right. You're better off sleep. After thinking about it. and their constant pleas not to leave them and that the other person is lying, friends and family telling you to dump their ass, and don't forget that little pang inside nagging you that everything you went through together just couldn't be a lie.
You decide to go on a break.
For an indefinate amount of time.
Because you really and truely don't know what to do...I mean after all...you do have feelings for this person. Deep feelings.....they don't just evaproate like that.
You're trapped in a constant whirl..of Confusion.
(*sigh* thanks, whoever reads this...I just had to let that out.) |
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| Today i thought about how come birds dont try to fly into
outerspace. like is there some genetic coding that makes them not want
to do it or do they try sometimes and crash super bad.
---> Pete Wentz (Fall out Boy)
 huh.
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| Ok guys...sorry for the delay..I got REALLY sick after coming back from the most awesomest trip to little five points with brittany and her mom...that place...is to die for.. lol
If I had a knife that could uproot cities and take them places....that would be my second to move lol. 1st will always be Tokyo ^^. anyway
Amber = I can't go tomorrow...v_v I'm sorry but unless you want me
up-chucking all over your house and then giving whatever I had to
you...I don't think you want me going either
Sarin= I should be better by tuesday lol since I'm my stomach's not committing suicide anymore...(well not as frequently) and right now I'm just recovering lol. so definitely. (& +, I can't resist karaoke anyway.)
And as for the new background for my site. all thanks goes to Brittany for making it so uber-awesome lol though I still want to fix one thing....I want to add a background for the posts so that people can read the words easier...
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